This is Chapter 1 of Into the Abyss — the beginning of the story.
In this first episode, I trace my history and career in music: how it started, where it took me, and the moments that ultimately led me to step away. After a long hiatus, this chapter explores what happened in the silence, what changed, and why I’m finally back.
Into the Abyss is a docuseries about identity, creation, loss, and return — an unfiltered look at the personal and artistic journey behind the music.
This is the origin story.
In chapter 2, the focus shifts to the making of the album itself.
We talk about the sound and sonic direction of the record, my mental and emotional state while writing it, and the themes that began to emerge during the process. The episode also features conversations with my co-producer, Mario Quintero, about how the album was built and the choices that shaped it.
Into the Abyss is a docuseries about identity, creation, loss, and return — an unfiltered look at the personal and artistic journey behind the music.
This is the story behind the sound.
In chapter 3, the story turns inward.
“Two Shadows” explores the quiet unraveling of a relationship — the distance that grows between two people who once felt inseparable. This episode reflects on the early stages of my divorce, the moments where things began to shift, and the feeling of watching something you love slowly slip away.
Into the Abyss is a docuseries about identity, creation, loss, and return — an unfiltered look at the personal and artistic journey behind the music.
This is the story behind the sound.
In chapter 4, everything fractures. “Chaos” dives into the aftermath — the spiral that followed the end of my marriage. Self-destruction, avoidance, and the kind of noise you create when you’re trying not to feel anything at all. This episode doesn’t look away from the mess. It sits in it. Into the Abyss is a docuseries about identity, creation, loss, and return — an unfiltered look at the personal and artistic journey behind the music. This is the story behind the sound.
This is what came after the chaos. Not clarity. Not healing. Just movement, freedom, and recklessness — the part where everything unravels, but somehow feels alive. Chapter 5 centers around “Break Ya Back,” a song about losing control, letting go, and leaning into the energy instead of fighting it. Into the Abyss is a docuseries about identity, creation, loss, and return — an unfiltered look at the personal and artistic journey behind the music.
After everything fell apart, it didn’t stop — it just started showing up in different forms.
This chapter explores the pattern of relationships that followed, the repetition, and the moments that felt like something real until they weren’t.
“Boys Like You” is about the space between chaos and clarity — where you’re still trying to make sense of what you’re drawn to, even when it keeps leading you back to the same place.
Something in me went quiet. Not gone — just distant. Like I was still here, but not really living.
This chapter explores what it feels like to move through the world in that state — the space where grief turns everything numb, and you’re left trying to exist inside something you don’t fully recognize anymore.
“Dead Man Walking” is about that feeling.
After everything went quiet, something started to shift. Not because the pain disappeared — but because I stopped waiting for it to. This chapter explores what it means to keep moving anyway — to accept that happiness doesn’t stay, and that the feeling always changes. To find a way to live inside that, instead of fighting it. “Dance Through the Fire” is about that choice. About learning to keep going, even when it hurts.
At a certain point, holding it together starts to feel like the problem.
Not because the chaos isn’t there — but because resisting it takes more energy than letting go.
This chapter explores what happens when you stop trying to control everything. When you let the feeling take over, and allow yourself to be carried by it instead of fighting it.
“Electric Fever” is about that moment. About surrendering to the rhythm, and losing yourself inside it.
“Yes Daddy” explores lust, distance, and the language of attraction that follows you from city to city. Chapter 10 of Into the Abyss traces the energy behind one of the most provocative moments from Call of the Void. From late nights to blurred passports to bodies moving through unfamiliar places, this episode lives in the tension between fantasy and connection.
Chapter 11 of Into the Abyss explores the beauty and discomfort of unfinished things: Fragments of conversations. Half-empty glasses. Lingering touches that don’t survive the morning. This episode moves through the spaces where desire curdles into memory and connection becomes impossible to contain.
“Can’t Admit It” explores the strange tension between desire and denial — the moment when love becomes undeniable to everyone except the people inside it. Chapter 12 of Into the Abyss traces the fear, restraint, and emotional confusion that comes with falling for someone before you’re ready to say it out loud. Some connections stay suspended in almosts. In lingering looks. In conversations that stop just short of honesty.
There comes a moment when the story changes. When the person you were chasing becomes the lesson you needed. When “not the one” stops feeling like a loss and starts feeling like a revelation. A chapter about heartbreak, boundaries, and the quiet confidence that comes from knowing your worth.
Every monster has an origin story. There comes a point when love stops feeling like a refuge and starts feeling like a war. When every disappointment, every betrayal, and every wound begins to reshape who you are. When surviving the damage means becoming someone you never intended to be. A chapter about heartbreak, resentment, and the moment the hero becomes the villain.
There comes a moment when settling hurts more than solitude. When you stop chasing what’s available and start waiting for what aligns. When self-respect becomes more satisfying than temporary comfort. A chapter about knowing your worth, raising your standards, and realizing that I’d rather eat alone than settle for crumbs.
There are moments when disappearing feels easier than enduring. When the silence begins to sound like peace. When the call of the void isn’t about wanting to die, but about wanting the pain to stop. I mistook oblivion for freedom. A chapter about despair, resilience, and discovering that surviving doesn’t mean the darkness disappears—it means choosing to keep walking anyway.
There are some people who never really leave us. They live on in the choices we make, the love we give, and the parts of ourselves they helped shape. Grief doesn’t ask us to let go—it teaches us to carry them differently. A chapter about love that outlives loss, finding the people we’ve lost in the person we’re becoming, and discovering that some bonds never truly break.
